Tag Archives: grief

Challenge bust and a cool dream

16 Jan

Sadly, I haven’t performed so well on my “post a day” challenge.  I have been posting more frequently, though.  Life has just been so crazy since my father passed away.  It’s hard to believe it’s been a month already.

A few nights ago I dreamed about my dad.  It was very odd; I think in my dream I was confusing him being in the hospital with him already passing, and thus my dream took place in a mausoleum.  My mother and I were at this mausoleum, talking to my dad, who was lying in what seemed to be a hospital bed.  He seemed very loopy and “out of it”, and he was in and out of consciousness. 

My mother was holding his hand, and she said to me, “You know, the doctors said he didn’t feel anything when he passed.” 

I looked at him and I said, very upbeat so he wouldn’t know how sad we were, “Is that true, Daddy?”  I don’t remember his response, but then I recall that I asked him, “So what’s it like, Daddy?”

He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said, “Oh, I can’t tell you that.  You’ll have to see for yourself.” 

Later, that sentence bothered me when I woke up.  It made me feel paranoid, wondering if perhaps he knew something about my time left on Earth that I didn’t.  Anyway, back in the dream, I persisted, saying, “Come on.  Tell us something.” 

This is the part I remember very clearly.  He looked right at me, and his demeanor was so happy, and his blue eyes were sparkling just like they did in life.  He said, “Well, it’s just…peace.”  I think I woke up shortly after that, because that is all I remember.

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